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A possible reason why we all have fears that are pulling us away from and sabotaging our ability to fulfill our values is that our brain is programmed to avoid pain and seek pleasure, so anytime you seek to live any chosen value the memory of past experiences that led to pain when you did just that will come up and prevent you from doing it. The result is a conflict between the values you hold dear and the fear of pain (or rejection, humiliation, etc.) when you engage in them.
Limiting beliefs can potentially manifest in the following ways:
Below is a list of common limiting beliefs. Which of them do you have?
Health:
Relationships:
Career:
Money:
How to transform and overcome limiting beliefs is an entire training unto itself, and I don’t want to get too sidetracked here. (I encourage you to read this document to investigate how it works. Something else that also helped me to understand how patterns of thinking shape our perception of reality is meta-programs.)
Right now, here is a simple process that anyone can follow to balance their fear of change and their desire for change; how to be simultaneously repulsed by their negative past and drawn toward their positive future.
A great time to reflect on and practice the following techniques (only one at a time!) is during your morning routine.
Select each of your values in turn, and imagine living and experiencing them. Write down precisely what that means to you (see example below.) Next, ask yourself the following question: “What fear(s) come up for me when I imagine living a life that embraces…(name of your chosen value)?“
Value | What it means | Fear(s)Â that come up when I imagine living a life that embraces this value |
---|---|---|
Courage |
|
|
I have learned the following technique from Tim Ferris, who learned it himself by reading the teachings of Lucius Annaeus, also known as Seneca the Younger. It’s a 3 step process.
Step 1 is about looking at the cold facts of the situation you are facing. Draw 3 columns on a piece of paper.
Step 2 (another piece of paper) is about hope. Taking a conservative look at the upside, what might be the benefits of an attempt or partial success?
Step 3 (one last piece of paper) is about understanding the cost of inaction. Ask yourself the following question: If I avoid this action or decision and anything like it, what might my life look like in…